Recently, I facilitated a small group coaching workshop. We met every week for four weeks and walked through my most impactful life-coaching exercises. Although none of these ladies had worked with a personal coach before, they came alive in this format.
Each of us barreled into the Zoom call from a busy day of work, thoughts of getting dinner on the table and anticipating the next day's madness. But in those ninety minutes, we agreed to be present and participate for ourselves and each other.
In the second week of our time together, I posed these questions:
When was the last time you...
...enjoyed your work?
...laughed with your husband?
...felt good in your body?
...were proud of yourself?
...really "saw" your kids?
...worked on a goal important to you?
After a few minutes of journaling and a few silent tears we each shared our honest responses. Our collective answers revealed one common theme.
"I can't remember."
It revealed that while we are so busy doing, we aren't really living.
That we are running on all cylinders yet haven't stopped to refill the tank in awhile.
We have consumed all the knowledge but haven't nourished our souls.
All reserves have gone to the people and things we love and every ounce of us is exhausted.
It also reminded each of us, we aren't alone. That even in this small virtual workshop of working moms from three different states and kids ranging from 5 to 18, we EACH feel the same. Exhausted and overwhelmed. Knowing things need to change but having no energy or capacity to think about those changes let alone make them any time soon.
And when we look at change or stopping to let a responsibility go, the fear of letting something drop, often outweighs the the possibility of finding relief.
So we keep going.
We miss out on finding a way back to yourself. To finding your smile and moments of joy again. To living a more energized existence and remembering why you enjoy your work. Laughing with your husband becomes a nightly occurrence, loving your body and being proud of yourself fill your heart again. You see your kids not just as a to-do item but as the amazing little humans you always wanted and didn't know you needed so much. You even start to make plans towards that goal you've put off for way too long.
By the end of our four week workshop, each of us had worked to evaluate the areas we "couldn't remember" the last time we felt joy in. We supported each other through discussing hard realities of capacity and time and how to set somethings down in order to rest. We encouraged each other to give gratitude to yourself for calling a time out and making even a sliver of space to get back to what really matters most.
Who is on your "I can't remember" list? What parts of life have you running so ragged you think it is easier to keep going than calling a time out? Where do you need encouragement and support to carve out space to find you again?